AU!Noah and Cesar (Closed RP)

[gorilladog]

Who: AU!Noah and Cesar
When: Late in the evening, during season three, altered where Noah as well as Cesar are proactive in Black Knight’s Providence
Where: In Cesar’s lab
What: Noah finds Cesar alone in his lab in a drunken mess, feels and hilarity ensues! 8D



Noah sighed inwardly as he was escorted out of Black Knight’s office. Being a double-triple agent wasn’t easy. Even now that Rex knew a sliver of the truth, that Noah originally worked for Black Knight. However, what Noah chose to leave out for the sake of his own safety, as well as Rex’s, was that he originally wanted to stop working for Black Knight, hence why he reached out to White Knight when he was looking for hired help to subtlety influence Rex to be more compliant. Then with Rex going missing for six full months, Noah jumped at the opportunity to become the mole for Defect Providence.

As he nearly slipped out of the building however, he noticed an outline of light at Cesar’s lab door at the corner of his eye. While it wasn’t unfamiliar to find the scientist working at odd hours, Noah, while working alongside Cesar, began to try to get close to the older man even if Cesar made himself distracted and busy at all costs. He did feel it was his best interest to be sure that Cesar at least wasn’t killing himself during his experiments. Noah knocks at the door, but with no reply, he uses his key to enter in the lab.

"Uh, Dr. Salazar...are you still in here?"

Comments

[evowhisperer]

"We're all alone. Each and every one of us." Cesar frowns down at his worktable, turning his back on Noah. The sweep of his shoulders is bowed, and he fiddles with the bottle's cap despondently. He hasn't had any family members who could tell him to snap out of his own self pity for months, and now, with the devil's drink half-empty beside him, it's more obvious than ever.

"Have you ever lost everyone who was ever important in your life, before, Noah?" This isn't an attempt at reaching back. Cesar thinks he knows the answer, and this is one more attempt to push Noah away.

[gorilladog]

The words stung, just as they intended to, and they remained hung in the air as Noah listened on. Even as someone that had Black Knight as a provider and superior during the nearly the last two years of his life, her cruel, calculating words didn't compare the weight of Cesar's, which stabbed at the pit of his stomach. He had a similar feeling before this, during lockdown, when he revealed his employment status with White Knight to Rex, how he was paid to keep an eye on the EVO. How much pain, anger, and betrayal he could see in Rex's expression. And then of course, most recently, when he saw the similar expression on his ex best friend as Noah played the part in sustaining him until Holiday and Six took the opportunity to release him from Black Knight's clutches.

Noah wasn't ignorant nor naive. He knew Cesar wanted him to leave so he could wallow in alcohol. So when the scientist made his query, the teen lowered his head, to think over everyone in his life, Rex, Claire, his parents, grandparents, everyone that while alive, he had to push away. It was then he realized, he never told anyone, outside of Six or White Knight, how exactly he became involved with Black Knight and how his own family couldn'the provide for him due to circumstances he couldn't control.

Noah's gaze landed to his feet with his hands in his pockets. The pause was long enough for one to think he wouldn't answer maybe even for someone to think he silently left the lab.

"In a way, yes."

[evowhisperer]

Cesar's lips part, but he doesn't say anything. The admission has rendered his planned response unusable, and it takes his vodka-loosened thoughts a few seconds to consider the change.

"... Really?"

He wants to laugh at himself, or slap his own forehead from the sheer inanity of his question. He does neither, though he does look a little uncomfortable. He only wanted to spend the evening alone with his thoughts, but it's too late to turn Noah away now. (He refuses to acknowledge the possibility that maybe he's curious, and maybe he doesn't want to be alone as much as he thinks he does.)

"How?"

Hope this was worth the wait cuz here we go! tl;dr

[gorilladog]

Smiling timidly, the considerate yet amused expression comes as quickly as it goes.

 Silence is still taking its hold, with only Noah's feet shuffling to an extra chair nearby Cesar's desk. Hanging his head, the teen recalls the events chronologically unfolding in his mind.

"Maybe "losing" isn't the right word," Noah starts finally, "But that gaping feeling, that something is missing and can't be filled again...it's there."

"I was emcipated before I started working for Providence. I'm sure you know what that is, right? Well, my parents worked like dogs, around the clock, but it still wasn't enough to pay for child support. And it wasn't like we didn't have family outside that could or would be able to help out, and trust me, they tried, but it still wasn't enough, they were in similar if not worse situstions than us. It took a toll on my parents, the fact they couldn't support their only son in the way that was needed."

Biting his lip, green-blue eyes glimmer at the memory of his parents distraught expressions.

"Court cases for these things are long, and it almost didn't go through, but then...whatever pitfalls that were there before were fixed, which I guess part of me thought was strange that it was dealt with quicker than these things usually are. Then I met Black Knight and figured out, she took care of that! She seemed understanding of my situation, said I had the potiential to be apart of helping out ending this war. Basically...she said what I wanted to hear. I was blown away by how generous she was, her reaching out to some nobody. I could have a well paying job, take care of myself, have a better chance to get a scholarship; I thought things were looking up."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Noah hands balled into fists as they laid inside the chair.

"But you know what they say about something being too good to be true. The more experience I had here, the more I found out what kind of person she was. And what exactly I got myself into."

Noah's gaze landed on Cesar, eyes wet, as stinging tears were fighting to come out, with Noah fighting them back. His brows furrowed, emotions varying from rage, desperation, and fear.

"My family, friends, Claire, I had to push away and lie to everyone, so she wouldn't even have a chance to get to them! And you know Black Knight, she uses what's the most important against you. She watches you constantly, knows where you are, where you sleep, who you're with, every time of the day! She never leaves you alone!"

The teen inhales sharply as he turns his head and swallows as he bores his gaze to the lab floor. His hands begin to shake.

"So yeah, I know what it's like to lose everyone I care about, but only because I chose to cut them out of my life. So what if I'm not exactly on her side anymore, once this is all over, I don't even know if I'm going out of this alive! And forget about the possibility of Rex forgiving me, I've hurt him too much. And I can't exactly count on anyone else forgiving or want anything to do with me even if by some stupid miracle I'm still alive after all this."

A lump in Noah's throat abrupts his speech, his chest tightens, and he has every urge to envelop into himself. Tearing his gaze away from the other, he shakes as burries his face in his hands, tears now trickling.

"L-look, I'm sure my problems are nothing in comparison to yours." Noah responds between shakes. "And I'm sorry for dumping this on you when you're going through stuff already, I just...I-I don't know how long I can stand doing this anymore. I just thought maybe if anyone would understand, it would be you."

\o/ It definitely was worth the wait. Sorry for my own delay!

[evowhisperer]

The silence is thick, but not in the way it was before. After a few long seconds a hand rests on Noah's shoulder, squeezing gently. The hand will transfer to Noah's back if he doesn't seem to protest, pressing a gentle path between his shoulderblades.

"It's alright." The bite from his voice is gone, and now he just sounds exhausted. "I should have realized it before. Our work leaves--" He breaks off and swallows, wishing that he hadn't had so much to drink. Now that anger has burned off, he's left with nothing but his guilt and his ghosts.

"We've both had a lot to lose. I'm sorry."

[gorilladog]

Noah starts at the touch but does not dissuade Cesar’s gesture. Taking note of Cesar’s expressions alongside his changed tone, Noah tips his head in the other’s direction. His wet, languid eyes peeked through loose blond strands.

“No, it’s…” Although tears still trailed down, pale hands lower in the lap of their owner, Noah lowering his gaze to the floor once more.

“If I could cover all of that up from everyone,” The blond teen’s shoulders shake from mirthless laughter, "it o-only means I’m doing my job. It’s just…when you have to look out for yourself and be your own best friend; you forget what it’s like to have...functional relationships. Y’know just being real and not having to constantly watch your back."

The only thing making Noah nervous was that now he completely spilled the beans to Cesar, what was going to become of it? He was 99.8% sure that Cesar wasn’t one to blab info to the higher ups, but it meant one more person in on his secret. Never the less, he was grateful that Cesar was letting him vent and no longer pushing him away.