AU!Noah and Cesar (Closed RP)

[gorilladog]

Who: AU!Noah and Cesar
When: Late in the evening, during season three, altered where Noah as well as Cesar are proactive in Black Knight’s Providence
Where: In Cesar’s lab
What: Noah finds Cesar alone in his lab in a drunken mess, feels and hilarity ensues! 8D



Noah sighed inwardly as he was escorted out of Black Knight’s office. Being a double-triple agent wasn’t easy. Even now that Rex knew a sliver of the truth, that Noah originally worked for Black Knight. However, what Noah chose to leave out for the sake of his own safety, as well as Rex’s, was that he originally wanted to stop working for Black Knight, hence why he reached out to White Knight when he was looking for hired help to subtlety influence Rex to be more compliant. Then with Rex going missing for six full months, Noah jumped at the opportunity to become the mole for Defect Providence.

As he nearly slipped out of the building however, he noticed an outline of light at Cesar’s lab door at the corner of his eye. While it wasn’t unfamiliar to find the scientist working at odd hours, Noah, while working alongside Cesar, began to try to get close to the older man even if Cesar made himself distracted and busy at all costs. He did feel it was his best interest to be sure that Cesar at least wasn’t killing himself during his experiments. Noah knocks at the door, but with no reply, he uses his key to enter in the lab.

"Uh, Dr. Salazar...are you still in here?"

Comments

[evowhisperer]

There's no immediate reply.

The lab has an opressive stillness across it, and it appears at first glance to be empty. Computer monitors show cold Providence screensavers. The only sound is the air conditioning's hum.

Cesar is sitting at a workstation on the far side of the room, back turned to the door. His elbows are on the table and his head is bowed, and it takes him a full second to even lift his head at the called words.

Mierda. He knows that voice. It's not someone to panic over, but it's one more person than he wants to see him like this, especially considering that he'd hoped to be alone all evening. He reaches forward and picks up a clear glass bottle half-hidden by his shoulder, hunting for its cap. There--he caps it. It's half empty, with colorless, water-like contents. (Why store lots of bottles of less potent substances, when he could keep a single one around for the occasional emergency?)

"Noah?" He finally asks, cursing inwardly when he hears his own voice. He sounds off, and slightly congested.

[gorilladog]

Carefully the younger male enters the lab observing its surroundings, with the "whooshing" of the sliding, automatic door closing behind him. Security being as crazy as it was with Black Knight in power, as well as knowing how out of control Cesar's experiments could get, Noah was more than prepared on how to deal with those situations at hand. However, when he finds the lab too quiet, he can't help but be both curious and wary. Blue-green eyes lay upon the man's back, his gaze softening.

"Yeah, it's me. I just wanted to see how you were doing in here before I..."

Noah trails off as he gets closer to the man, as he eyes the contents in the bottle, he pursues his lip to a thin line.

[evowhisperer]

There's a few seconds of razor-sharp silence. Cesar doesn't turn around, and he knows without looking that the bottle is the star of the show. His back is rigid. His shoulders cut a professional line that's in no way natural.

Then, very calmly, Cesar takes the bottle and puts it in a drawer. He closes it, and the sounds are loud in the oppressively quiet room.

"As you can see, everything here is fine," he says tersely, still not turning around. "If there's nothing else you need, please check that the main medical bay's lights are out before you leave."

It's a menial task, meant more as a jab to send him away than anything else. He wants to be left alone with his grief and melt-your-eyes-strong alcohol, and he's not going to be there until Noah leaves.

Sorry, this became tl;dr

[gorilladog]

Before Cesar even breaks the deafening silence, Noah could already connect the dots how he just entered into something very private, how he found this man vulnerable. He rubs the back of his neck and his gaze turns downward, his voice quieting.

“Yeah, o-okay. Sorry.”

In spite of knowing his intrusion, Noah is frozen in place. If he left now, the teen would be alone in his house finishing up homework that was due next week. Sleep became something he dreaded. All he would see are the nightmares that occupy his subconscious almost every night. His social life had been cut thanks to his occupation, him not wanting to admit to Claire, yet another person he cared about how he had been lying in order to keep her safe and away from Black Knight. He was also emancipated, as his family couldn’t provide the means to keep him financially secure. So he was stuck with Black Knight until she did something to break their agreement, which he knew would be set in motion soon enough, he just needed to wait for the right signals on behalf of Defect Providence.



Noah wets his chapped lips and swallows, he wants to respect the man’s privacy, but simultaneously wanted to comfort him, if not for a moment. The tired and true cliche "Misery loves company” applied and Noah hated how he felt as though he had to suffer through these things alone. The question was really, how could he comfort someone like Cesar, that seemed to keep others at an arm’s distance, that kept himself distracted with his intensive interests? Then again, the teen would be calling the kettle black.

“I don’t know if you’re in here because of what happened or something else,” Noah states clearly yet gently as he can, "but if it’s the former, you need to know that you did what you had to do. We both did. The alternative could have been a lot worse."

Noah only came in the tail end of Rex's escape, as he remembered too well all of Rex’s expressions and the thoughts that most likely passed as he tried to fight his way out of Providence and seeing both his brother and supposed “best friend” working for “the bad guy”. And the idea of Rex being mind-controlled for all time by someone like Black Knight, it...well if Noah dwelled anymore on it, he would go into a rage spell unlike anything anyone ever seen.

nooo this is good, do not worry <3

[evowhisperer]

"The alternative? You don't know anything about what's happened. About the truth."

Dramatic? More than a little. Cesar's mouth is loosened by alcohol, and sick feelings like tar from recent events are giving his thoughts a fatalistic weight. He half-turns on his stool, and the better glimpse that this gives Noah of his bowed face betrays a shadow of stress that goes far deeper than poor lighting.

"I did what I had to do. We all did." He doesn't sound as though he realizes he's repeating Noah. "It's only unfortunate that none of us are left with better choices. Assuming there were any from the start..."

Where did his bottle go? He put it away too soon. Cesar opens the drawer again and takes it back out, uncaring of the fact that Noah is still there. It's not as though he's going to forget about it just because it's hidden, and he needs the burn travelling down his throat right now. It won't make things better, but it might push them a little farther away for a while.

[gorilladog]

Blinking, the blond’s lips parted as he takes a good look at the man’s face. Memories flooded back when he first met Cesar, how Rex spoke of him, and how Noah observed his behavior. Stilling dating Claire back then, he acquired Cesar’s help through Rex, to scare her into his arms in the abandoned haunted motel. The older man came across as eccentric, knowledgeable, and having an interesting way of looking at things. Funnily enough, even when the plan fell through, Claire was still interested in the mastermind behind the plans. Where Noah would have been annoyed with the memory before, he now had a ghost of a smile, thinking fondly over it. Closing his eyes, Noah mentally shook that memory away.

“I may not know or understand it all, but I'm more aware of things than you might think.”

Shifting his weight, he peers his blue-green eyes at the other’s dark browns, hoping to hold the other's gaze, the ghost of a smile lost.



“I don’t disagree with that,” memories of earlier meetings with Black Knight resurfacing in his conscious as he continues, “but it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t keep looking for other options, even if we are forced into situations we don’t have control over, even if it seems hopeless. And there's no reason any of us should go through all of this alone."

There's a part of Noah that is wondering who he's trying to encourage, Cesar or himself. For now, he's going to focus on the older man, even if it was just like looking into a mirror.

[evowhisperer]

"We're all alone. Each and every one of us." Cesar frowns down at his worktable, turning his back on Noah. The sweep of his shoulders is bowed, and he fiddles with the bottle's cap despondently. He hasn't had any family members who could tell him to snap out of his own self pity for months, and now, with the devil's drink half-empty beside him, it's more obvious than ever.

"Have you ever lost everyone who was ever important in your life, before, Noah?" This isn't an attempt at reaching back. Cesar thinks he knows the answer, and this is one more attempt to push Noah away.

[gorilladog]

The words stung, just as they intended to, and they remained hung in the air as Noah listened on. Even as someone that had Black Knight as a provider and superior during the nearly the last two years of his life, her cruel, calculating words didn't compare the weight of Cesar's, which stabbed at the pit of his stomach. He had a similar feeling before this, during lockdown, when he revealed his employment status with White Knight to Rex, how he was paid to keep an eye on the EVO. How much pain, anger, and betrayal he could see in Rex's expression. And then of course, most recently, when he saw the similar expression on his ex best friend as Noah played the part in sustaining him until Holiday and Six took the opportunity to release him from Black Knight's clutches.

Noah wasn't ignorant nor naive. He knew Cesar wanted him to leave so he could wallow in alcohol. So when the scientist made his query, the teen lowered his head, to think over everyone in his life, Rex, Claire, his parents, grandparents, everyone that while alive, he had to push away. It was then he realized, he never told anyone, outside of Six or White Knight, how exactly he became involved with Black Knight and how his own family couldn'the provide for him due to circumstances he couldn't control.

Noah's gaze landed to his feet with his hands in his pockets. The pause was long enough for one to think he wouldn't answer maybe even for someone to think he silently left the lab.

"In a way, yes."

[evowhisperer]

Cesar's lips part, but he doesn't say anything. The admission has rendered his planned response unusable, and it takes his vodka-loosened thoughts a few seconds to consider the change.

"... Really?"

He wants to laugh at himself, or slap his own forehead from the sheer inanity of his question. He does neither, though he does look a little uncomfortable. He only wanted to spend the evening alone with his thoughts, but it's too late to turn Noah away now. (He refuses to acknowledge the possibility that maybe he's curious, and maybe he doesn't want to be alone as much as he thinks he does.)

"How?"

Hope this was worth the wait cuz here we go! tl;dr

[gorilladog]

Smiling timidly, the considerate yet amused expression comes as quickly as it goes.

 Silence is still taking its hold, with only Noah's feet shuffling to an extra chair nearby Cesar's desk. Hanging his head, the teen recalls the events chronologically unfolding in his mind.

"Maybe "losing" isn't the right word," Noah starts finally, "But that gaping feeling, that something is missing and can't be filled again...it's there."

"I was emcipated before I started working for Providence. I'm sure you know what that is, right? Well, my parents worked like dogs, around the clock, but it still wasn't enough to pay for child support. And it wasn't like we didn't have family outside that could or would be able to help out, and trust me, they tried, but it still wasn't enough, they were in similar if not worse situstions than us. It took a toll on my parents, the fact they couldn't support their only son in the way that was needed."

Biting his lip, green-blue eyes glimmer at the memory of his parents distraught expressions.

"Court cases for these things are long, and it almost didn't go through, but then...whatever pitfalls that were there before were fixed, which I guess part of me thought was strange that it was dealt with quicker than these things usually are. Then I met Black Knight and figured out, she took care of that! She seemed understanding of my situation, said I had the potiential to be apart of helping out ending this war. Basically...she said what I wanted to hear. I was blown away by how generous she was, her reaching out to some nobody. I could have a well paying job, take care of myself, have a better chance to get a scholarship; I thought things were looking up."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Noah hands balled into fists as they laid inside the chair.

"But you know what they say about something being too good to be true. The more experience I had here, the more I found out what kind of person she was. And what exactly I got myself into."

Noah's gaze landed on Cesar, eyes wet, as stinging tears were fighting to come out, with Noah fighting them back. His brows furrowed, emotions varying from rage, desperation, and fear.

"My family, friends, Claire, I had to push away and lie to everyone, so she wouldn't even have a chance to get to them! And you know Black Knight, she uses what's the most important against you. She watches you constantly, knows where you are, where you sleep, who you're with, every time of the day! She never leaves you alone!"

The teen inhales sharply as he turns his head and swallows as he bores his gaze to the lab floor. His hands begin to shake.

"So yeah, I know what it's like to lose everyone I care about, but only because I chose to cut them out of my life. So what if I'm not exactly on her side anymore, once this is all over, I don't even know if I'm going out of this alive! And forget about the possibility of Rex forgiving me, I've hurt him too much. And I can't exactly count on anyone else forgiving or want anything to do with me even if by some stupid miracle I'm still alive after all this."

A lump in Noah's throat abrupts his speech, his chest tightens, and he has every urge to envelop into himself. Tearing his gaze away from the other, he shakes as burries his face in his hands, tears now trickling.

"L-look, I'm sure my problems are nothing in comparison to yours." Noah responds between shakes. "And I'm sorry for dumping this on you when you're going through stuff already, I just...I-I don't know how long I can stand doing this anymore. I just thought maybe if anyone would understand, it would be you."

\o/ It definitely was worth the wait. Sorry for my own delay!

[evowhisperer]

The silence is thick, but not in the way it was before. After a few long seconds a hand rests on Noah's shoulder, squeezing gently. The hand will transfer to Noah's back if he doesn't seem to protest, pressing a gentle path between his shoulderblades.

"It's alright." The bite from his voice is gone, and now he just sounds exhausted. "I should have realized it before. Our work leaves--" He breaks off and swallows, wishing that he hadn't had so much to drink. Now that anger has burned off, he's left with nothing but his guilt and his ghosts.

"We've both had a lot to lose. I'm sorry."

[gorilladog]

Noah starts at the touch but does not dissuade Cesar’s gesture. Taking note of Cesar’s expressions alongside his changed tone, Noah tips his head in the other’s direction. His wet, languid eyes peeked through loose blond strands.

“No, it’s…” Although tears still trailed down, pale hands lower in the lap of their owner, Noah lowering his gaze to the floor once more.

“If I could cover all of that up from everyone,” The blond teen’s shoulders shake from mirthless laughter, "it o-only means I’m doing my job. It’s just…when you have to look out for yourself and be your own best friend; you forget what it’s like to have...functional relationships. Y’know just being real and not having to constantly watch your back."

The only thing making Noah nervous was that now he completely spilled the beans to Cesar, what was going to become of it? He was 99.8% sure that Cesar wasn’t one to blab info to the higher ups, but it meant one more person in on his secret. Never the less, he was grateful that Cesar was letting him vent and no longer pushing him away.