Determinspiration

[heart_breaking]

Knowing the potential threads that the future holds fills you with determination.

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[gainedlove]

The weird thing about it is it always hurts. A surge of far too much power, a feeling like they're being turned inside out. As much as Frisk tries to fight it, the torrent is just too much for their SAVE to remain intact.

It makes the headache from that so-long-ago fall feel like a light tickle, in comparison.

Frisk doesn't open their eyes right away, sucking in a sharp breath scented by flowers that Frisk could very nearly scream if they were to see right now. They'd held it so long this time, so long! Papyrus had gotten his car, Toriel's school had been opened...Sans was even starting to seem like he might start trying to put an effort into life again. They can't help the tears that start leaking out.

They don't want to move, but at the same time they know they have to.

Of course, they aren't expecting to see someone there when they open their eyes.

"Wh--?!" Frisk startles, going stiff, then blinks as they actually process the sight in front of them. "Ch...Chara...?"

[heart_breaking]

They're not awake, but they're definitely not asleep. Sleep would've been restful, wrapping around them in a firm embrace. The state they're in now is harder than the ground they're lying on. It's like they're flatlining, except maybe it's just a literal feeling, as though there's invisible block that's flattening them by force.

And just like that, it starts to lessen.

Chara groans, awareness returning slowly. They still feel like half their senses are echoing down a long tunnel to their mind, and whatever that means for Frisk's body can't be good. Maybe something happened wrong in this last reset, and maybe Chara should be jumping into action. Maybe they'll both die from whatever's happened, and they'll just reset on the spot, and there's no use fighting it.

They think they turn their head, and they know they have, but they also can't really tell. They can feel their hair draped over their face like a thrown cloth, but they also can't. The contradictions are too much for their tired state, and after that sluggish stirring, they fall still again.

[gainedlove]

It's you!

The words echo in Frisk's mind, but it's only a memory this time around. It's really Chara. Their face, their hair, everything--Frisk could recognize them anywhere, but this is the first time they've seen their sibling...real, in many senses. The lack of the familiar presence in the back of their mind is almost missed with this strange and amazing revelation.

But there's something strange. Frisk can see the flowers on on the other side of Chara, and there's something...lacking to them. What, Frisk couldn't put their finger on...it's almost like how Napstablook is, but not quite.

"Chara?" Frisk speaks a little louder this time, trying to rouse the...ghost? Is that what Chara has become? "Chara, look at me. Open your eyes!" Frisk reaches out to touch Chara, but their hand passes through their shoulder with a strange tingling feeling and they make a strangled sound, quickly pulling back.

[heart_breaking]

Chara hadn't ever wondered what clouds thought when birds passed through them, but they think they might have an idea now anyway. Something disturbs the space their shoulder is occupying, and they make a sound of protest, shrugging as though shaking off a spider.

Frisk still succeeds: the motion is enough to stir Chara into responding. They curl up slightly, then crack their eyes open, blinking in the dim light.

"... Frisk?"

Their eyes grow to the sizes of dinner plates, because Frisk is in front of them, and it's disembodying in ways they'd never imagined. It's like the whole world is tilting on an axis it shouldn't have. Chara raises towards a sitting position, and then swings their gaze down to themself, baffled beyond words.

They cry out at the sight of themself, holding up arms that are only as opaque as a thick fog.

"Frisk!! What the--what's going on?! I look like a ghost!"

They mash their hands together, finding themself 'solid' to their own touch, and it still makes no sense at all. If Chara didn't know any better, they'd say they're both having a total mental breakdown from the stress of that last reset.

[gainedlove]

Frisk squeaks when Chara sits up so abruptly, starting to reach for them before stopping again, making several more halting attempts to figure out how to hold Chara when they're incorporeal. It's an even stranger sight in motion, ringing so many alarm bells of this isn't right that Frisk can't think past the panic.

"I-I don't know! I didn't do this!" Sure, they'd wished they could bring Chara back many times, but not like this! Frisk whimpers and tries to put their hands around Chara's own, but their fingers pass through.

"I don't know...!" Their voice is getting wheezy again, it's hard to speak. They try to just think it, but nothing happens.

[heart_breaking]

Chara's fingers spring open and closed, and it's like they're made of nothing but light and shadows. They can't feel it. The hand is right there, and they know it's there, but there's no warmth.

"Well I know I didn't do it! Was it--... are we--A-am I--...?" They tug on their own hair, and this is 'solid' too.

"Do you think it's determination?! That maybe... maybe one of us wanted something like this, somehow, and it--it worked?" Chara can't imagine themself wanting to leave Frisk that badly, and a wave of panic passes through them: if this is true, and if Chara didn't want to be outside of Frisk's head, then did that mean Frisk didn't want them around so much? They can't even form the question, but it shows up clearly on their face that they don't have to.

[gainedlove]

Frisk's heart leaps to their throat, and they shake their head hard enough the ends of their hair whip against Frisk's cheeks painfully. No, they didn't want Chara out, this wasn't anything that Frisk wished for!

They let out a whimper and, awkwardly, trying to not put their arm or hand or cheek actually through Chara, they circle both arms around the air the other child occupies. Trying to sign isn't immediate enough, and their thoughts are locked away.

After a few moments, Frisk manages to make their voice obey again, if only softly. "N...need you..."

[heart_breaking]

Chara's chin wobbles, and they put their arms up in the other half of Frisk's hug. All they feel is empty air, but Chara tilts their face over Frisk's shoulder anyway, wishing it would muffle a choked back sob.

The tears don't get much further than that. They hold on for a few seconds, and then pull back to scrub their eyes with a fist.

"B-but I still don't get it. If you didn't do it, and I didn't do it, then..." Then what? Is this ignorance something they're not both dealing with already? No, it's not.

"... Maybe it was just random?" Their eyes are shining less with tears, now, and it's as though there's something calming in this powerlessness. They never understood why they came back like they have, and the idea of this being just one more mystery to add to the mix is familiar. They can deal with this. They and Frisk can do it together.

[gainedlove]

Frisk pulls back reluctantly, their tears already rolling down their cheeks despite the thin comfort Chara's continued presence provides. They sniffle and hiccup, quiet and miserable sounds, but Chara isn't fading away yet. They don't want to, and that's enough to let Frisk find a sort of steady ground within themself once more.

They scrub at their own eyes and nose, thinking about what their partner says. There are so many things that neither of them really know, that probably can't ever be known...and even if they tried their best, no two timelines are exactly alike. Something always changes.

"Like...like how Alphys calls us sometimes?" It's a ridiculous comparison, but also the first thing Frisk can think of. They should find a better analogy. "Or...or those grey monsters?"

Frisk looks down, their gaze sliding from Chara's hands to their own and back again. The gears in Frisk's head are starting to move, now that the shock has settled somewhat. "...maybe...this means it'll be different this time? Do...do you think they'll be able to see you, too?"